


the one wherein Alec is a TSA agent

by villiageidiot



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Airports, Crack, First Meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29824716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/villiageidiot/pseuds/villiageidiot
Summary: The first time it happens, it’s unintentional.(Every time after that, it’s embarrassingly intentional.)Alec is behind the conveyor belt, just like he always is, listening to Jace yell, “Anything larger than a cell phone, folks. Keys, wallets, and don’t forget those belts.”Another day, another TSA shift. Another dude trying to smuggle a snake onto a plane, probably.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 51
Kudos: 196





	the one wherein Alec is a TSA agent

**Author's Note:**

> This all started because I didn't mute Discord notifications at work and a conversation started about someone's water bottle being confiscated and it spiraled from there so I blame everyone at the Malec Discord Server, the end.
> 
> Thanks to [aceonice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnIce/pseuds/AceOnIce) for reading _and_ teaching me new things about Google.

The first time it happens, it’s unintentional. 

(Every time after that, it’s embarrassingly intentional.) 

Alec is behind the conveyor belt, just like he always is, listening to Jace yell, “Anything larger than a cell phone, folks. Keys, wallets, and don’t forget those belts.”

Another day, another TSA shift. Another dude trying to smuggle a snake onto a plane, probably.

Something catches Alec’s eye on the screen, and he leans in to squint at the monitor. There’s definitely a bowling ball, but what the f—

He glances up quickly to see who it is that owns the luggage currently going through the x-ray and makes brief eye contact with easily the most beautiful man in existence: high cheekbones, dark black hair carefully styled and accentuated with blue streaks, kohl-lined eyes. Alec’s words catch in his throat as he stares.

The man winks at him and Alec forgets all about the bowling ball and _the tattoo gun_ on the monitor. The man grabs his bag as it comes down the conveyor belt, and Alec just stares after him.

“Are you okay?” Jace asks from a few inches away, pulling Alec from his thoughts.

Instead of asking Jace why the hell he’s breached Alec’s personal bubble, he just says, “He had a tattoo gun in his suitcase.”

“Okay,” Jace says, frowning. “I mean it’s weird, but technically allowed.”

 _Yeah, but why_ , Alec thinks. That man had a _tattoo gun_ and a bowling ball, and Alec wants to know everything about him.

*

A week later, the man is back. Alec happens to look up and notice him as he’s taking off his shoes and sliding off his belt and loosening his tie— 

Alec’s eyes widen, his brain is going in directions it should not be going in, not unless he wants HR to pull him aside. He tries to calm his nerves as he waits expectantly for the mystery man’s luggage. 

And he is not disappointed. 

“Ice skates?” he accidentally says out loud.

The man smiles at him, and for a second, Alec thinks he might challenge him on it.

“Like, metal death shoes,” Alec continues for no fucking reason. “It’s a razor on your foot.”

“Yes,” the man says, “and they’re also good for ice skating.”

“It’s summer.”

“Not everywhere,” the man argues, which should not be hot because it’s just a basic fact about how seasons work, but somehow this guy makes facts hot.

Alec flushes at the accompanying look, and he doesn’t say anything else.

The man winks again.

*

Alec is sitting at the passport check desk the next week when the man walks up with a plastic bag of water.

 _Magnus Bane_ , the passport says, and Alec unwillingly tears his eyes away from Magnus to check out the bag in his hand.

“That’s a goldfish,” Alec says.

“Indeed it is,” Magnus agrees.

Alec eyes him warily. “So you’re just carrying a living, breathing fish onto a plane,” he clarifies.

“Indeed I am,” Magnus agrees again.

“It’s more than three ounces,” Alec points out.

Magnus waits for him to say something else, but suddenly Alec can’t remember how to pronounce the word _no_. 

After a long staredown, he just cocks his head in the direction of Jace’s, “No, ma’am, I’m gonna need that peanut butter,” to let Magnus know he and his goldfish are a go for security.

*

Next week, Alec watches as some handcuffs, a _lot_ of rope, and a few cylindrical objects glide gracefully through the security x-ray. He swallows thickly and meets Magnus’ eyes. Magnus gives him a challenging look then winks.

*

The week after that, Magnus is chosen by Jace for a _random inspection_ , and Alec glares at his brother as he unwillingly rifles through Magnus’ luggage. He pauses when his hands grab hold of a few carefully wrapped objects. After he unravels them, he finds himself holding a waffle iron and an electric teapot.

He looks up at Magnus.

“I like breakfast,” he tells Alec as if that’s some kind of an explanation.

Alec rolls his eyes and bites the inside of his lip to keep himself from smiling. The last thing he needs to do is encourage him. He doesn’t want to get Magnus added to the No Fly List.

Or fired, he also doesn’t want to get fired.

Magnus leans in close over the conveyor belt, and for some reason, Alec finds himself leaning in to meet him.

“I make an excellent French toast, in case you want to join me for breakfast sometime.”

Alec blinks and stands there helplessly as Magnus repacks his tea and waffle kit. He’s still standing there after Magnus is long gone until Jace finally comes over to join him.

“You okay?”

“I think—” Alec starts. “I think he was hitting on me.”

He turns to gauge Jace’s reaction, and he’s met with a skeptical stare. “Are you serious?” Jace asks.

“What?” Alec asks, eyebrows furrowed. “Do you not think he was?”

Jace shakes his head and walks away, muttering under his breath.

*

There’s a pair of knitting needles the week after that.

Alec gives him an unimpressed look, but Magnus just shrugs and smiles.

*

Then there’s a baseball bat.

“Magnus,” he warns under his breath. “This should really be in a checked bag.”

Magnus makes a face and _fuck_ Alec is so screwed because he just shakes his head and says, “Fine, but promise me you won’t like, _use_ it.”

“Yes sir,” Magnus promises with another wink.

Alec tries to ignore the _sir_ because it makes him want to do things to Magnus that will most definitely get him fired. Possibly sued.

*

“A vacuum?” Alec sighs.

But he lets Magnus go through because of course he does.

*

It’s a beautiful snow globe, it is, but it’s definitely not allowed. He knows this with certainty because it’s explicitly brought up during training.

“Magnus…” he starts.

Magnus looks at Alec with wide eyes. “Yes?”

“I can’t let you—snow globes aren’t allowed,” he says apologetically.

“I can bring actual fish and murder shoes but not a snow globe souvenir?” Magnus counters.

 _I could actually get fired over this one_ , Alec thinks. “I—”

Magnus is watching him expectantly, and something in Alec falters. He doesn’t even know Magnus and yet he doesn’t know how to say _no_ to him. 

The thing is, ‘no’ is one of Alec’s favorite words. He says it all of the time, to family and friends and passengers and strangers. So why the hell can’t he say it to Magnus? 

“Fine,” Alec sighs.

Magnus gives him a startled look—and there’s something else there that Alec can’t decipher.

He watches Magnus head towards his gate and silently questions his sanity, trying to figure out why he always says _yes_ — 

And then Magnus turns to look at him and smiles, and Alec remembers _oh right, that’s why_.

*

It all culminates with the fireworks.

“Okay, no,” Alec says, finally remembering how to use that word.

“I can’t bring fireworks?” Magnus asks, eyes innocent and pleading.

Alec glares at him.

“But these fireworks are dear to my heart,” Magnus tries.

“They’re not, though.”

“They _are_.” 

“No, Magnus,” Alec says again, more forcefully.

For some reason, a wave of relief flashes briefly over Magnus’ face.

“Could you perhaps hold on to them for me?” he says after a long pause. “If you give me your number, I’ll call you when I return and you could give—”

“Yes,” Alec says immediately. “That. I’ll do… that.”

Magnus smiles at him, but it’s not like his usual smile. It feels more real, somehow.

*

(Their first date is by the pretzel place in the airport food court because they’re both more than ready to see where this thing goes.

But the second date is at a coffee shop, where Magnus promptly tosses the fireworks into a trashcan before explaining that’s exactly where the dollar store snow globe and knitting needles went, too.

And the third date is at a restaurant where Alec learns about Magnus the tattoo artist who’s also the regional bowling champion and _also_ the little league T-ball coach and _also_ a figure skating instructor. 

Although during the fourth date, he finds out the little league thing was a lie. 

The fifth date involves the handcuffs and rope and cylindrical objects. 

Date five-and-a-half involves the waffle maker and teapot.

Alec loses track after that.)


End file.
